This week my friends and I hosted that glorious thing that is a garage sale—where folks paw through my abundance of junk priceless treasures to add to their homes.
It’s key to excelling in Mom Life to both host and attend one of these circuses for a bonanza of deals. So to all of you out there who pack an extra $20 bill in your purse just in case you spot a sign on the street, I give you:
Ode to Garage Sales
Strangers have started knocking on my garage doors and it’s only 6:00 am.
Bleary-eyed, I open three hours early and…
“Price? No, my mower isn’t for sale…Sure, I’ll take 5 cents for that item marked $200…Yes, the neighbor two doors down is having a sale too…No, I’m sorry I don’t have any super expensive antiques to sell you for cheap.”
But wait, who knew the Raggedy Anne cake pan would cause a fist fight?
And 10 seconds later…
I’m sitting in a ghost town.
Folding and refolding clothes.
I think I’m beginning to talk to myself or is that my other self?…
Wait. Where are my kids?…
I drag them back from the neighbors who’ve been kind enough to fill a garbage bag FULL of more
crap priceless treasures I’ll have to sell at some point.
After settling them back at their table with cookies and lemonade to sell, I’m back in business.
10 HOURS later, I’ve made it through the wild peaks and valleys…close my garage doors and count my earnings, while soaking my feet in Epsom salts and making dinner.
Look! After 400 hours of work, I made 25 cents on a spatula!
And a dollar on a bag of feet stabbers, I mean matchbox cars.
But I’ve yet to sell the bar stools, a single puzzle, or Aunt May’s collection of plastic cups.
I haven’t done dishes or laundry in a week because I’ve been purging and pricing…
And, oh good heavens, where are my kids?…
Blessings to all of you out there living the mom life. You’ve got this.
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