Some of you probably know that I spent the 30 days of November writing 50,000 words on my next novel—that’s about 200 pages…basically an entire book. It was a challenge for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).
Writing with that kind of speed is NOT how I normally write. I’ve always been a little like Ernest Hemingway—reading over what I’d written and editing that before moving forward bit by bit every day.
I thought going for speed might be a good exercise. Help me learn new skills. Stretch me. You know, make me better.
And it might do that yet. But at the moment, with everything that was going on in my family, I wonder if the story I started was worth it.
Every novelist knows that there are points along the way where you hate what you’ve written. But I fear this is different.
Did I push myself into a place I wasn’t called to go? And now I’m overwhelmed in the quicksand that is my book. I’ve too many elements, perhaps not enough research.
I feel as if I didn’t give myself the space to do it right. Sure, I can go back and fix it… maybe.
If this character hadn’t been haunting me for 5 years, I might give up. But the more I think on it, the more I think my fear of the character has everything to do with why I veered off in a direction I hadn’t intended on.
Isn’t that like life?
The things we fear most are often the things we’re called to do. 
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So today, I will again tackle the book. Reworking, rewriting, replotting.
I will look straight into fear and walk into it, if for no other reason than most fear runs when it encounters confidence.
I will hunt fear today and invite you to do the same. Tweet This
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I proud of you for trying a way you weren’t sure you loved! How else will you know if it works for you. I have always been amazed by writers that can conquer NaNoWriMo! I’m a slow writing too. Have you read The Art of Slow Writing by Louise DeSalvo? I know that you will redeem your work, for sure and it will be better for it!
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I haven’t read DeSalvo’s book. I’m putting it on my wish list right now. Thank you so much for the recommendation. I’m taking time to go back and do more character work right now. I asked for Scrivener for Christmas (and it’s a great deal because I won NaNoWriMo) and I’m going through and putting everything I wrote into the trial version. I think I’m in love with that software. It’s so visual. It’s helping me SEE where problems are in the plot. I’m getting there…
I saved this post back when you wrote it and today I am going through old saved things and deleting some. I will not be deleting this one. The things we fear most are often the things we are called to do. I needed these words again today. I am moving forward with a writing dream by starting a blog…it is in the research stages yet, but I’m moving forward. THANK YOU!
I’m so glad the post was helpful to you. Congrats on taking the first steps to accomplishing your dream. You’ll have to keep me up to date on your progress.