When You’re Standing at a Crossroad

I’m standing at a crossroad. A place where I’m trying to make choices. Responsible choices. I’ve too much going on and I want to simplify. But then I’m confronted with brokenness, and I ache to help—to do something tangible. Sound familiar?

I suspect some of you are with me in the struggle. Often I find that I only see one step ahead, but strangely others can see more clearly than I. Perhaps, just maybe, together we can work out the next step.

As I struggle through decisions—what’s best as a mom, a writer, a wife. I’m called to be purposeful; to demand a higher level for myself; to be a clarion call of beauty, goodness, and truth—I started processing through the written word. I am, after all, a writer! What came out was the poem below.

Do I Dare Disturb the Universe*

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Do I dare disturb the universe?
To grab the tail of the sun streaking across the sky,
To speak into the dark woods and be heard?

Or am I tethered here, turning in my small circle?
A cog in the universal machine, producing productive things;
A modern Sisyphus, doomed to meaningless tasks?

Am I not designed for more?
Created to see, in depth, color, and texture;
Intended to protect, to cry out, to make a difference?

If, while standing at the crossroad, I choose to stay,
Am I content or complacent?
Is this moment to leap away?

But in breaking free,
Flying from the drudgery of the wheel,
Am I rushing, smashing the very thing I want to protect?

* T.S. Eliot, Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock