Life goes, clicking along, time slipping, easy until
falling
scrambling,
clattering,
broken
LOST
lost, Lord, I’m lost
fears,
tears,
searches,
questions
Solutions, ideas, suggestions, all well-meaning
clutter,
frustrate,
choke
Makes me scream silent
cling,
slip,
cling,
slip,
again
again
again
This was written in response to the Five Minute Friday prompt: Motivate. It’s rather ironic that I struggled deeply with this week’s prompt. The rules are: write for 5 minutes and no editing.
I pretty much destroyed all the rules this week.
This is the result of my fourth go at this prompt. I still hate it…and, in addition, I’m still in the quagmire of plot problems and writer’s block for a novel starring Sam and his wife Charlotte (you met them in short stories here and here).
I know all the suggestions, all the tricks, but every time I throw myself at this, it shatters at my feet.
But I sit behind the computer and cling to what I know and have a go again…
I’m learning that questioning yourself, your faith, your work, isn’t always a bad thing.
As scary as doubt is, it is often the doorway to new, unseen discoveries. 
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How about you? Where are you struggling to motivate yourself?
Oh boy. I can so relate. I’ve written other posts for FMF and virtually crumpled them and tossed ’em in the trash. But YOU persevered. And I appreciate your honesty.
Just a thought about your novel – have a conversation with Sam and Charlotte and ask them what motivates them.
Blessings as you enter 2018!
Visiting from #66 FMF
Thank you Vicki. I know, at least cerebrally, that any time spent writing is time well spent.But there are days…
And with the character journal, I’m spending a LOT of time there right now. Basically I’m having two characters vie for prominence and I’m not sure how to handle it. It becomes a little messy structurally especially since, in a way they become antagonists for each other. I’m working through how to handle it in the form of a cohesive story. Cohesive being the operative word! We’ll see.
It must be the wintertime blues. :/ Hope the writing days are better for you soon because I love anything you write!
That is definitely part of it. And I know part of it is just having a long enough stretch of time to sort it out. I’m planning on some concentrated time at the end of this month and the end of Feb. Hopefully that will set me on a good course.
Resonates loudly with me. And breaking writing rules rules. Thanks for this poem this week.
I don’t seem to be able to follow the rules anywhere in my writing life…which is ironic given my good girl tendencies 🙂
That is life for many. I appreciate your honesty and your perseverance, but sometimes we just need to walk away for a bit and come back to it another time with a fresher perspective. Happy New Year! Stopping by from FMF.
Hi Leigh. Walking away is often needful. The irony is that I had a road map for the book when I walked away because of the chaos that was 2017. When I walked back in to my writing life, I found it in chaos. At the moment, I’m sitting in it, studying, and trying not to panic. Doubt can lead to good places if I let it. I’ve been here before and will be here again. It seems to be the way of things.
Oh girl, the whys are what get me in the struggle. I know them, but sometimes I still push them away. Like right now…it is cold and snowy outside and I really need to go to the studio and record for two hours. I don’t want to go. I want to stay where it is warm and frankly also safe. It is a little creepy when you are all alone in a studio. Thanks for sharing honestly. I appreciated your post.
Visiting from FMF #68
Blessings –
Kelly
I can totally identify…I wouldn’t want to be by myself in a studio. I’ve been contemplating setting myself up in the basement and have fought it…mostly because I don’t want to be down there by myself. I’m in the house working by myself ALL DAY, but I don’t want to be by myself in the basement. Makes me feel like a 5-year-old little girl 🙂
Nodding silently. May you be given what you need to embrace the chaos, and the reasonable fears it generates, and to use it all to your benefit. Love your writing.
Thanks, Pearl. Living with uncertainty and questions are such a hard place to live. But I truly believe that the uncomfortable place is where growth happens.
I struggled with this prompt too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I tweeted one of them! – your FMF neighbor.
Thanks, Lauren. Isn’t it ironic that motivate was so…unmotivating?!