Oh the places between here and there.
It’s not quite spectacular white winter or lush green spring. It’s that place where you’re not young or old. Neither starting nor finishing. We’re neither here nor there, but on our way somewhere.
If only I knew where somewhere was.
It seems my map is lost and I’m forced to trust the road rolling out in front of me. I step one proverbial foot in front of the other and pray that I’ll get something, anything right. If only I knew how long this season would last, I might find it easier.
But it seems the timeline is off somewhere cavorting with my life’s map.
The nebulous not-quite-thereness rubs me all wrong. Like a deep tissue massage that’s more pain than relaxation, I know it’s probably good for me, but, at the moment, I’d rather skip it.
Can you relate?
In this place of waiting, I’m trying to find purpose, reason, but I’m finding that worthwhileness might not be the point.
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I’m reading that ease, image, and convenience have supplanted real meaning. And that my in between place (the thing I’d honestly like to skip) is teaching me perseverance and strength.
And so I settle in for the long haul I’m terribly unsuited for and push through. Knowing, hoping, trusting that “there” isn’t so very far away after all.
Janyre, this is so beautifully written. It takes the edge off what you articulated. Your posts are so timely. Needed this. Thank you.
Thanks Pearl. Sometimes I feel like I’ve been here too long. That I just need to whitewash it all somehow. But then folks remind me that they’re there too, and I realize that I’m the only one that feels the need to put a timeline on my own frustration. Ah-h the elusive patience. I am forever confronted with my need for more!
You’re definitely not alone! But you may be one of the only persons to wrap such beautiful words around thoughts the rest of us didn’t even know we were thinking. You’re a gift, Janyre. Praying you feel that today. Hugs!
Those are the hardest times, when no answers are forthcoming. Praying for your heart, and deeply moved by your words.
Thanks, Lisa. Somedays I feel like I’m whining…and I hate whiny people. But self-compassion keeps cropping up in my reading, so I’m pretty sure that’s a message I need to listen to…and maybe see if I can find a few good things mixed in there too!
Beautiful description ~ much of life feels like the between. It is challenging for me to live in the moment, not regurgitating the past and not anticipating or worrying about the future.
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize…” ~St Paul