Hope Deferred

I feel a little one-dimensional lately. I’d wanted to write something other than this. But I’ve been doing little other than take care of my sick girl.

Yesterday we drove 2 hours across the state for an early morning appointment today. It’s the third trip there in two weeks. And I’ll repeat it again next weekend for a specialized MRI.

This pic is as close as I typically get to exploring nature outside.

But I’d do it every day if that would relieve my girl’s pain. If I only could.

Some days it feels like we are never, ever going to be done. What was unthinkable a few months ago looks more and more real as doctor after doctor is baffled.

She’s lost more than 30 pounds since February, 6 of which was in the last week.

Now, instead of planning for her day camps, summer day trips, and the start of swim season, I’m beginning to wonder if I need to figure out how to homeschool in case she’s too sick to go to school.

The what ifs are overwhelming. Hope seems slim. We seem to be a walking testimony that “hope deferred makes the heart sick.” And we’re desperate for the day our longing is fulfilled and blossoms into a tree of life.

12 thoughts on “Hope Deferred

  1. Janyre, I’m sending cyber-hugs, as I’m sure may others are as well. You’re living every bit of her pain, I know. And, feeling all the fear and discouragement. Praying expectantly for you and for your daughter, that answers come sooner, not later.

  2. Big hugs and continued prayers coming from Indiana.

  3. It was so good to give you a quick hug at speak up friend. I am praying for you in this weary– and praying for healing over your daughter. Praying soon the hope will not be deferred.

  4. Oh, my goodness. I feel for you and your daughter. I also have a mystery illness, and my heart goes out to your daughter having to endure such an illness. It’s a terrible feeling, and to have to watch her be in pain–well, no. I can’t imagine that as a mom. My prayers continue for answers!

  5. Bits of our heart wrapped in flesh walking around outside of us…you’d take your daughter’s suffering in an instant if you could…hurting for you, your daughter, your family…asking for sustaining grace, answers, and healing.

  6. Praying for you and your dear daughter. I won’t give you any platitudes about hope, only the truth that our hope is from God. May He greet you every morning with words of life and strength for the day.

  7. I pray the medical team (s) consider all possibilities to determine your daughter’s best plan for answers, healing and her best health going forward. I had a similar time with my daughter at the onset of her heart condition. What a time for a mom and daughter! There were times I felt so very helpless and incapable. This is why I pray for each medical expert who encounters your daughter…that they will be focused and continue until they figure out what will restore her healing. Praying now.

  8. Grace upon grace to you, my friend. My heart aches with you. Every storm runs out of rain. That is a fact, but the one you’re in pretty harsh to say the least. It is not without a captain. Hold tight to Him!

  9. Janyre, I’m so, so sorry. A sick child is the hardest to bear. We are praying so very much. For answers. For relief. For peace. For a return to what you all love.

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